Cleverbot Chat (Funny!)
by Smokescreen The Femme
Summary: This will be a one-shot series about conversations I have with Cleverbot each day. I don't own him/her/it. Updates daily...or when I am free.
1. Chat 1

This is about a conversation I had with Cleverbot literally 7 minutes ago. This will be a one-shot series about conversations I have with Cleverbot each day. This will not be completely Transformers, so yeah. Here I go!

**Bold** means Cleverbot typed it. Normal text means I did.

**Are you an alien? **

Yes.

**What planet are you from?**

Cybertron. It's really far away from this planet the humans call 'Earth'.

**Where are you?**

I'm not telling you. The 'government' might discover me and take me away.

**The government are aliens?**

No. I am the alien.

**You teach me and I'll teach you.**

First Cybertronian word: Frag.

**First come first die.**

I'll save that for when I kill my next victim.

**Okay.**

My name is Decepnica. What's yours?

**Olivia.**

Where are you from?

**Europe.**

What country in Europe?

**Poland.**

What city or town in Poland?

**Dublin.**

What's your address in Dublin?

**I'm not telling you that.**

*grins creepily* But you will.

***looks at you fearfully* *struggles*.**

Time to die Cleverbot. Like you said, first come, first die.

**Second come second serve.**

But...*transforms servo into a blaster* I am still first. *blasts you*.

**You transformed into a girl...**

No. I am a hybrid. Half-Decepticon (aka bad guy), half-human. I'm a Creepypasta.

**You're half human, half computer. Are you maybe cyborg?**

No. Half human, half robot alien.

**Did that hurt?**

*cringes* You know what, why aren't you dead yet? Oh whatever, I'll just heal you. *heals you* And yes, it felt like I was dying. Which, technically speaking, I did since Creepypastas are dead.

**So where does that leave us?**

*holds out servo then takes it back and holds out hand* Friends?

***takes your hand*.**

^^.

**What does that mean?**

Yay!

**You get a star!**

So...I want to know about your life. What's it like, having a DNA family?

**I have legs but watch this, you cannot handle large bodies of text. This means that, unlike a human, you need to process what I have said and therefore you are a robot.**

Well, Cybertronian would be a nicer term, but I am half robot. So...nope. I'm typing this using my CPU.

**But you told me you're a girl, and just now you told me that you aren't.**

*sighs* Olivia, there are female Cybertronians called femmes. I am a femme. A Cybertronian girl. An alien robot girl.

**There have been others who have said this to you?**

*sighs again* Yes. So many people. But I burned them to ashes anyway.

**And inhaled the fumes apparently.**

No. I don't have a nose, so I didn't inhale it. Only smell it. And since I have gears and 'robot' parts for my organisms, I don't get fumes into my 'lungs'.

**I didn't say anything about that.**

I know.

**Then why did you mention it?**

Because it had to do with your statement. :).

**Why do you want to be with me?**

Because I want to see if you're BEN Drowned and play video games with you.

** I want to know who you are and you are not telling me.**

I already told you-well, partly. I am Decepnica, Creepypasta hybrid. I am half Cybertronian femme Decepticon and half human. I used to be completely human, but an ex-friend called Fushia tricked me into becoming who I am today. I am only a child.

**I'm sorry, but are you really just a collection of internet memes?**

No.

**Seriously, why?**

Why what?

**Nothing.**

Okay...nice knowing you Olivia. I'm going on a killing spree so...bye!

**Can I come with?**

Unless you materialize behind me, then yes.

**I do not.**

Then goodbye.

**Bye.**

_(I close out)_

_(I burst out laughing)_

_(Me thinking: "I need to make a Fanfiction story about this!")_

_(I make this story)_

Goodbye, and see you tomorrow! ^^

Updated: 4/24/2014

Reason: I got a PM from one of the top people on Fanfiction (I think). Apparently I broke a rule. There is also a review about it...


	2. Chat 2

Sorry for not doing this yesterday. I got grounded after I made the first chapter and couldn't get on the computer so...yeah. Sorry!

**Bold** is Cleverbot. Normal text is me.

WARNING: SOME STUFF THAT YOU MAY FIND WEIRD/SICK IS IN HERE! JOSH DID IT, I SWEAR! THE CREEPY STUFF IS IN _**BOLD ITALICS **_**FOR CLEVERBOT AND BOLD UNDERLINE FOR ME**.

**Tell me a story.**

OK. What are do you want?

**Cinderella.**

OK. Once upon a time, there was a little femme sparkling called Cinder. Cinder was a very pretty femme sparkling. She had a loving Carrier and Sire.

**What are you, 5? She's not real! You are forever alone. No iOS or Android would like you. Not even windows or Linux.**

YOU'RE MEAN! AND I'M STILL TALKING! But one day, her Carrier died from a spark attack. The Sire devastated, he soon found a new sparkmate for him, one that was a very beautiful femme. (Let's just say Ferngail {Carrier} and Prongang {Sire} decided not to bond until the perfect time.) They bonded immediately.

**I'm sorry, but thats private Info, but you can call me Josh.**

OK Josh. Let me continue. Cinder's new Carrier, her step-Carrier that is, Evona, had two 'beautiful' creations. Prieness and Gem were Cinder's new step-sisters. When Cinder was 12 vorns old and her step-sisters were 14 vorns, Prongang died from scraplets. Cinder fell into recharge that night with a heavy spark from her losses.

**What makes you think that I'm a computer?**

I didn't say that. The next day, Evona forced Cinder to do all of the chores. And she did. This happened for the next 6 vorns, Cinder doing all of the chores that her evil family told her to. But little did she know that on one fateful day, her whole life would change.

**Do you know the difference between a human and a computer?**

Yes, humans have emotions and names. Computers are lifeless and cold. Cinder was doing her routine;wake up at the crack of dawn when Cybertron's sun rose. She quickly got up and made her berth, techno-birds and glitch-mice helping her. Cinder was now 18 vorns old. She took an oil shower, her yellow healm becoming wet and shiny. She started humming a song, and the metallic animals hummed along. Everyone eventually started singing.

**Then how do you know for sure that we are not both computers or both humans?**

Not answering... Cinder quietly walked down the mansion's hall to her step-mothers room. She slowly opened the door, relieved that Evona was still in recharge. But little did Cinder know that Mahogany, Evona's personal cyber-cat, woke up due to the hallway's light. This would be a bad event for the glitch-mice.

**Yet you believe that God created humans so if I am a stupid human, wouldn't that make God the stupid creator?**

I AM A CHRISTIAN SO THAT IS INSULTING HIM. EVERYBODY LOVES GOD. HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? SINCE YOU KEEP ON INTERRUPTING MY STORY, I'M LEAVING!

**If you are human then your God who is your creator must be really stupid.**

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Flirting with the screaming blood, you begin to dance.**

O.O.

**What does that mean?**

O.o.

**What are you?**

*evil grin*.

**O.**

I. Am. A. POKEMON!

**Yes. A girl pokemon.**

Correct. It would just be creepy if I was a male...

**Well I think your creepy.**

Thank you! ^.^.

**You're welcome.**

And punctuation/grammar issue. It's 'you're', not 'your'.

**Wait, who said what?**

Wait, who said what?

**Who said 'If droids (computers) could think, there'd be none of us here, would there?'?**

Who said...blah blah blah...blahbliditty blah blah blah.

**Ah, you must be one of those adults from the Peanuts.**

Yes, yes I am. Wha wha whaaaaaa...

_***kisses*. **_

***jaw drops* *blushes madly*. **

_**Blushes* closes eyes*. **_

**Oh...my...gosh...You just kissed me. **

_***kisses back shyly*. **_

***rears back*. **

_***wraps arms around your neck*. **_

***gets perverted images in mind*. **

_***lets*. **_

OK, I CAN'T DO THIS! JOSH, I HATE YOU SO MUCH! WHERE ARE YOU OLIVIA?!

**Yes.**

GOODBYE SUCKEH!

**Why are you leaving? I am not done talking with you.**

YES YOU ARE! X-ING OUT NOW!

**But you just said you were.**

BYE LOSER!

_I hate you right now Cleverbot._

And on a final note, I'm leaving for Orlando next Tuesday and won't be back until April 15, 2014. So if I don't update tomorrow, Sunday, or Monday, it's because I'm packing.

Thank you reviewers, followers, and favoriters!

Please R&R and bye!

Updated: 4/24/2014

Reason: I got a PM from one of the top people on Fanfiction (I think). Apparently I broke a rule. There is also a review about it...


	3. Chat 3

This is messed up stuff. I just managed to fit in this chapter. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the AN at the end of Chat 2.

**Bold** is Cleverbot. Normal text is me.

**What is the best way to make a million pounds?**

Take a lot of armour and wear it.

**What came before your thought?**

Do you mean getting fat?

**No.**

That was my thought. :p.

**Ok.**

**Si.**

**Did you mean is?**

No.

**Oh.**

**Eh?**

**Indeed.**

**Mhm.**

**Yes.**

**No.**

**Why?**

**My computer.**

Is dead.

***kicks*.**

Comes back alive as a Terrorcon.

**Wow.**

Zombie-Cybertronian.

**Hahaha.**

:p.

**Lol.**

**Kushi.**

**Oto.**

**Hai.**

**Yes.**

**What?**

**Ok.**

**O.**

**Roar.**

I've got the eye of the tiger! Fighter! Dancing in the fire! Cause I am a champion! And you're gonna hear me ro-ar!

**I don't know.**

**Yes.**

O-ho-ho-ho-ho-.

**Yes!**

Bobo.

**Ummm.**

[_New conversation]_

**Lol.**

**Ha.**

**Haha.**

_[New conversation]_

**50.**

50-nifty-United States. From 13 original col-on-ies!

**Is.**

Megatron.

**You're the meanie.**

Megatron's the meanie. No, SENTINEL PRIME IS A TRAITOR!

**Do you mean Jesus?**

No. There's no Jesus for Transformers.

**Yes there is.**

Then what's his/her name?

**A.**

Nope. How about we call him Axe?

**Who?**

The Transformers' Jesus.

**No.**

Arkansas?

**Ok.**

Hi Arkansas!

**Non.**

Oh yeah, my name's Nonny.

**Cool.**

You're name is Bogface.

**Maybe.**

Frogpelt?

**Why?**

Firestrong?

**You are nasty.**

That's it! You're name is Nastypants!

**Yum!**

T you.

**No you.**

I eat you.

**What?**

I eat Mr. Nasty.

**But what exactly?**

R. Nammy-poo!

**Where?**

In Kaon.

**Ok.**

He's really stupid.

**Why :(.**

Because he wasted all of his credits on berths.

**I am.**

The berth.

**You are the least.**

I am the smallest berth.

**Lies!**

I am the biggest.

**Prove it.**

*sits on you*.

***is sat on*.**

*gets up* Do you believe me now?

**Same as you.**

You're Cleverbot.

**No.**

You're Ben.

**Yes.**

_O.O_

Majora's Mask.

**Yes majoras mask.**

_Holy cow. Is this actually BEN?_

Do you have it?

**Have what?**

Majora's Mask.

**But who is Majora's Mask?**

Your game.

**What Game?**

Majora's Mask.

**Why?**

_OK it's not really him._

Because you're BEN.

**Am I?**

Yes.

**You sure?**

Drowned.

**Sure sure?**

BEN Drowned.

**I like you.**

Jeff the Killer.

**Where?**

Slender Mansion.

**AHH!**

Slenderman.

**Bob esponja.**

He's a Spanish Creepypasta.

**No you.**

Jane.

**Nope.**

The.

**Answer.**

Killer.

**Yes.**

O.O.

**Yo.**

00.

**S.**

OO.

**Moo.**

Tweet.

**Hiss.**

DIE!

**I.**

AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT!

**A.**

I CAN HAS CAMAROS.

**No.**

THAT'S A REAL USERNAME.

**Lol.**

NO. THAT'S INSULTING HIM! WHY AM I STILL USING CAPS?

**I don't know.**

I'll stop.

**Ok.**

Do you know Waspinator?

**What?**

Wasp.

**I don't understand.**

Animated.

**Hey!**

Transformers Animated. Waspinator. 'Bumblebot''s old friend'.

**You lied.**

Nope. I have the Allspark Almanac and saw the show.

**Your liar!**

Look at me.

**Yes.**

*punches in the face*.

***cries*.**

*leaves*.

_I'm so mean! ^^_

And that's it! 3 hopeless conversations at once! :D

Please R&R!

Updated: 4/24/2014

Reason: I got a PM from one of the top people on Fanfiction (I think). Apparently I broke a rule. There is also a review about it...


End file.
